…have been interesting to say the least A tad generic as an opening statement, but it’s concise. And accurate to be honest.
Much has happened since my last post about three years ago. Time flies apparently. A person gets so caught up in the day to day grind that they often lose sight of anything on the periphery. Such has been the case with myself.
So to bring this narrative up to speed, I’ll start by say that I’m in round 19 of my chemo treatments for multiple myeloma. Type 11/14 to be exact. It’s a cancer of the blood affecting the bones. There was a brief argument with bladder cancer, but I came out on top of that one. Myeloma on the other hand is proving to be a bit more tenacious. However, with the assistance of an incredible team of medical personnel at the Coborn Cancer Center and the unwavering support of a very, very few close friends, I’m still here. You might say I’m a wonder of modern pharmacology. Every month my blood work comes back as if it’s from someone who doesn’t have cancer, or any other disease. Blood pressure and everything else is perfect. I’d like to say it’s from good genetics, but it’s those genetics that paved the way for me to get this form of cancer in the first place. We’ve concluded that it was from exposure to certain chemicals, more than likely agricultural in origin. But, who knows…
So, that is probably the most important issue facing me at the moment. There are others to be sure, but all in all they do not define who I am. Do I pray to God for a cure and the ability to cope with this? Absolutely not. The closest I get to anything remotely religious is the occasional “Hail Thor!” that may periodically be heard coming from my lips, but that’s about it. I believe that we are all born with the tools we will require in life. It’s our life’s experiences that help to open the toolbox that contains them. Logic gives us the knowledge of the tools we have, but it’s the wisdom we gain that ultimately teaches us when and how to use them. It’s a case of “can I”, vs. “should I”.
I tend to define myself by my actions towards others and how I face the world. Not a disease, not my job, not my six familiars (that’s a term I use for my cats because I do not consider them “pets”), nor anything else that isn’t physically me. Without them, I’m still “me”. It’s the culmination of my life’s experiences that define me and have made me the person I’ve become. And let me say that those experiences were not always enjoyable. Are they ever really though?
It is often said that we learn more from our perceived failures than we do from our successes. That is something I wholeheartedly agree with. I’ve definitely had my share of ups and downs. Since my coming into the world I’ve been shot, stabbed, run down, sexually molested at an early age (Karma did eventually visit this filthy degenerate and as such they are thankfully no longer among the living. I hoisted a glass when I found out. No sympathy to be found here), divorced, served in the USMC, been in the penal system both civilian and military, etc… Yeah, you could say it’s been an interesting ride thus far. In spite of those things I do have much to be thankful for. I’ve two exceptional daughters who still don’t fully appreciate how gifted they truly are and as such we tend to not see eye to eye much at all. But, that’s one of the things that comes with being a parent. Another is the right to embarrass them at will. 🙂 I’ve a good job, I became world renowned for my work with mail armour, I worked as a bouncer at the most popular dance club in St. Cloud (bouncer, NOT male stripper as many seem to think. I never danced on the drink rail nude just to be clear), I have a nice house, and for the most part good health. In fact, other than cancer I’m perfectly healthy. LOL!
Okay, that’s not entirely true as some of those reading this know and will call me on it if I’m not honest. While my spine may be riddled with cancerous lesions, it’s also riddled with osteoarthritis. Especially my lumbar region. In fact, it’s quite extensive. Another genetic gift from my maternal grandfather’s side of the family. It was exacerbated (accelerated?) by doing things I shouldn’t have, such as ten years of intense roller skating and improper lifting habits. Lifting a small block V8 Chevy engine out of a pickup bed probably wasn’t the brightest idea. But hey, I did it.
Every morning I wake up wondering if I’m going to start my day by walking or crawling. Yes, you read that correctly. “Every” morning. Does that stop me or slow me down? Fuck no. I’ve lived with chronic pain the majority of my life. You might even say I’d be lost with out it. In the almost three years since I’ve been with Panera Bread, I’ve only taken an actual break twice. Missed work only two days because of bladder surgery. Should have been far longer, but I did not want to leave them short and I needed the income. Of course that attitude resulted in a trip to the ER a week later because of massive clotting that subsequently found me on a gurney surrounded by three guys with what I swear was a garden hose and something that you would pump out an aquarium with telling me to just relax because everything will be fine. Yeah, I’m trying to watch Food TV while they are calling for a larger hose. Totally relaxing atmosphere. Not. LOL!
Yes, the first 50 have been a wild ride. There is much more that could be added, but I’d rather save some that for future installments. The next 50 are sure to be even more entertaining. In fact, this coming year I’ll not only be finishing my kitchen remodel (steampunk/industrial), but I’ve several fossil hunting trips planned (some even aquatic in nature), an outdoor wood fired oven, my wrought iron fence will be completed, my Jeep CJ will be sporting a V8 engine and heavy duty axles, I’ll be getting my multi-state permit-to-carry license, and my idea of having a weekend brunch in my home will finally come to fruition. Just to name a few things. As I always say, never a dull moment.
Until next time, stay true. 😉